飘渺

本以为把一切都放下了，岂知一句话就把我打回原形。
果然还没有释怀，它 依然还是我的底线。

也许是我强求了，也许一开始就错了，错在我的贪。
原来我是贪的。
贪心地想把所有的都放进心里，他人却不明
也以为放不进了，也不放了，怎知点点滴滴都蛀进去了，可笑
笑我的傻，痴， 更笑我的胆怯。

习惯性的麻痹和空白在那一刻才发现到头来原来都是我的逃避，
习惯性的无视，习惯性的忽略 原来只是逃避，
模糊自己的感觉，只为了 多一刻，再多一刻，就多那一刻。

想起那句他人对我说的“心思细腻”，无奈
深切的无奈
多想神经大条的继续感受着那一刻，继续在那一刻里假寐

也罢，
既然不明，既然不了，既然如此，如你所愿
我也不想在原地等着 看着你，
也不想追着背影，回头一瞥，看见的并不是原来的画面
也罢，
既然不愿看清，既然都不愿看得再深，如你所愿
背负那些底线
只希望能还我心飘渺，一点一滴的放下，直到我再也不放，也放不进任何东西
愿还我心飘渺

Deep condolences

Things will not happen as we wish i guess.
I can't accept death. I realized.
Things i treasure most may just withering away in any seconds.
I don't even want to think about it, i don't think i can handle the emotional tsunami at all.
I guess life will not be the same when you lose someone you loved.

I'm in such an awkward age right now, not a teenager, but not mature enough to handle my family.
How am i suppose to do in the next one year?
Should i fly somewhere else to build my own world?
Or i should just stay and enjoy the life along with my loved family...

Things will not get easy on me i guess.

Mr. M

I am so sad.
cause i've been rejected by Mr. M........
I am so depressed.
cause Mr. M is leaving me away.....and getting further away.....
I need to buy a brand new handphone *cough* sorry, no iphone 4 cause Mr. M is not by my side.....
I need to pay my debt to my hostel and this and that....
I sincerely hope Mr. M will come back to me ASAP cause i don't want to be a dead meat ASAP.....

Blue han-gul

The only thing i am disappointed with is my korean.
I have been thinking since i saw my korean result. "Is this my level?" "Is this it?!" "F**k!"
I have no idea what is going on......
Am i not hardworking enough? i think so...........................
Am i too ignorant bout my level? too carried away? i think so..........................
I don't know. I don't know.
I am f**king sad, honestly.
Despite of my fanatic bout korean songs, this and that, this is what i got.
May be i am just now serious bout this, may be i didn't put enough effort, may be.....
I'm not even close to sad or moody when i failed other subject, why.....why this subject...??
Tried not to think so much....but my heart is aching.........damn sad, damn moody.

Shojo manga fever

Recently read too much manga, all bout Shojo / romance.
Except for the Bleach.

Sometimes, i feel a bit awkward, or rather i should say "emo" bout the ending of those romance stories.
I've been thinking bout this for a while.
Okay. First, the growing affection between the boy and the girl.
Then, confession.
After that, conflict or obstacles you may say.
Then, end with marriage or something else.

I'm not saying that i don't want a happy ending (who don't want a happy ending lar?!)
but the thing keeps bothering my mind is : "What happened after that?"

Okay, maybe a simple normal life for the couple, just simple happiness.
Or, something slash in and they break apart.
Then? I don't get it. What will happened next...........the cycle comes again?
I don't understand.

I admit that i like to have an eternal love like what have been illustrated in Twilight Saga series, but still...i still thinking....what's next?

Maybe this is beyond my comprehension, but my mind keep puzzled by this.
Or it is just simply because i desire something different, different than the "normal cycle".

言。情。

看着最新的死神 Bleach 第271集，到最后无法忍耐到下个礼拜才出的下一集
几乎是立即，马上，去下载它的漫画，一直看到最新一章。
一个字。情。

Ulquiorra 所说的“心”，Ichigo 对Orihime 的“保护”
到 Tosen 对心爱的人的“正义”， 还有那只熊队长对 Tosen 的“谅解”----都是情
感触太多，发现死神已经要 show down了，有点感慨
因为私低下，我是希望Ulquiorra 与Orihime之间有个真正的结局，没法子了，只好看看FanFiction来解瘾。

有时发现自己对感情上还是个小孩子，
希望我喜欢的人不讨厌我，希望能在有限的朋友圈里找到几个能交心的人
也许我太幼稚了，也许我奢求太多，也许他并不是我以为的那么不讨厌我，
或许我真的是涉世不深，看得不多，
或许我还是学不乖，性子太冲动，太自以为是，
或许，是时候该转身退后
或许。。。一切都是我的错。

Blue Saturday

Its Saturday, i am freaking tired even i slept for over 12 hours.
Gosh, i hate this kind of life, nothing to learn, nothing to do and nothing to anticipate for......

Realize that i wouldn't see my senior buddy, Tiffany around so frequent anymore as they are graduating soon.
Somehow i feel paiseh to her cause i am not a good junior for her.....not filial to her....
For all these years i don't think we are really that close, i also don't know why. But luckily, this semester we are getting closer (i think?).

I've been wasting all my time on stupid stuff i guess, I'm not study hard enough, I'm not playing hard enough too.
Kind of regret and feeling blue out of nothing.....

Download so many anime and read so many novel in 5 days.
Everyday I'm sitting in the office doing nothing, luckily i have my laptop with me, at least i can read some novel, listen to music~
BUT I STILL WANT TO LEARN SOMETHING!!!!
CAN YOU FEEL MY AGONY?!?!?!!!


Well, it is a blue Saturday.

心系于喜

看到姝频这么幸福，我真的很开心。

她真的很快乐，很甜蜜。

很喜欢。好像看到一件我很喜欢的东西酱。

很久了，没有真正的笑。

这几天，托了秀和顺杨的福，我过得很快乐。真的，太开心了。

若有一天他们真的在一起或结婚，我是第一个狂笑的人。哈哈哈。。。

刚刚看到姝频的合照，知道她很快乐，我很欣慰。

愿他们长长久久，嘻！

Bleach anime last filler!

Bleach currently reach 267 episodes. Starting from episode 266, they back on their track.

I count. There were around 8 months Bleach been giving us filler episode.
All are craps. Cause Bleach is about action. Fighting scene.

Now, the one i waited for 1 years will going on action in the upcoming episode 268 "Orihime's dillema".
It all started when i know there is a lot of fanfiction on Ulquiorra & Orihime.
I get to know that eventually Ulquiorra turned to ash and reach for Orihime. I don't believe it. Even after i purposely went and find the manga that show the scene.
Frankly, im been avoiding to admit that he is dead ( i mean in the manga). Keep finding the peace from all the story bout the mutual feeling between both of them and life after he turn to ash or their encounter in total different situation.

Finally, the time is come. He will turn to ash for sure.
Luckily, the producer team of the anime gives us slight of hope. Show us some jealousy reaction of Ulquiorra and the feeling of Orihime towards him.

They asked the writer. Is Ulquiorra dead? He didn't answer it.
Personally, i hope they will end up together and away from the conflict.

JJ Lin's "无法克制" remind me of the feeling of him towards her. 苹果香的肌肤....温柔弧度...

I'm been emo recently and i don't know why. I guess life is too much 遗憾 for me.

睡 越

岁月 等于 睡觉 + 越轨。

哪儿越轨了？
时间越轨了。

睡觉呢？
让时间流了。

那我在这干啥？
就没干嘛，没事找事呗。

老了吗？
对呀，老啦。
就是因为老了，才会酱想呀。

这啥话呀？！？
废话呵。

Slack off

Im seriously slack off.

browse all the website, forum, youtube, movie, facebook, novel, this and that.

Now i know what is the feeling when you got unlimited online time, due to uspot maintenance.

Sorry for leading a life like this.

Im sincerely sorry....

被不知啥人的幸福点到。。。。

其实很懒惰用华语写的叻。。。呜呜。。

遊戲規則回答下列問題...
貼到自己的blog...
寫完後...
自己加一個問題然後傳給10個人... ( 我可以不要点人吗。。。)

可以點...
點過的人...
被你點到的人
你要去跟他說●我點到你了●...
寫完後去跟點到你的人說...●我寫完了●
不可以不寫喔...
不寫幸福就會跑掉喔.. （ 这个statement 很假咯。。）

不能再点回点过你或被点过的人哦。。。
我的大名：凯宁
我的生日：1987
誰傳給你的： 《停开》
說出五個好朋友：不要写啦，很长叻。。
生日想要得到什麼禮物： 什么都可以，只要不是很恶的东西就可以了
近期開心的是：ONLINE + dance!
近期壓力大的是：对考试越来越没压力了。。。
未來想做什麼： 赚钱，钱钱钱！
有沒有喜歡的人：现在没有
同學會要回去找老師嗎： 应该会吧
跟誰出去最幸福：家人 =）
如果你的兩個好友吵架了：不理他们
跟情人出去最想去哪： 不知道
聖誕節要做啥：跳舞咯
最想跟誰過聖誕節：没有人
有沒有起床气：睡不够就会
有幾個兄弟姐妹：我是老大，二女一男
最喜歡的一首歌(女生的)：Lady Collection "peeking - melancholy talk"
最喜歡的一首歌(男生的)：组合算吗？ SHINee "RIng Ding Dong"
喜歡什麼顏色：以前是黑色，现在就不知道。。。
上廁所會不會先沖水：会！因为我怕中 Trichomonas vaginalis...
愛不愛我： 你是谁？！！
喜歡男生還是女生：两个都爱
最想大聲說什麼：我爱你， 因为没有人能让我这样对他说。

半夜敢不敢自己上廁所：哈哈！
上廁所會不會脫褲褲: 屁话！
誰很欠打："問上面那兩題問題的家伙" 来自廷凯《----这个我很同意。。。
現在很迷什麼：韩国流行歌曲！！
睡相很差：应该把。。。。
現在的時間：2pm
是否痛恨傳給你點卷的人：哈哈，没有啦，只是觉得很好笑而已
體重多少：过重
今天天氣：阴天
你懷孕了嗎：梅江快。。。
你若中樂透最想做什么：乱买乱花，乱吃乱用
大學生一定要玩的活動：搞band!
如果能為彩虹添加一種顏色你選 ：不用啦，这样就很美了
你相信爱情会永远吗 ：很难叻，对人没信心了
现在的你穿什么颜色的衣服：线条背心
放棄一個人會很難嗎：不难，只要想放就放
对欺骗你的人你有什么感想 : 会很气，过后直接不理会，反正气坏的是自己
最近一次看咸带是几时：哇！这个好！
最近看的一本書是：Cleo November issue
最讨厌的政客：没有讨厌，只是不喜欢
刚刚看的youtube video是 ： [HQ 102909] SHINee Ring Ding Dong @Shim Shim TaPa， 嘻嘻。。

okay! the end!

My stupiak lappy rebel during my holiday

Open folder or anything wun show on the task bar....
got taskbar but no task showing there, so if i minimize them, i need to reopen them again,
or going to Alt + Tab to switch to it....
or open my task manager.....sucks...

i bought it for 2.5 years baru it started to enter its rebellious stage of life....
Work for 13 hours everyday in my holiday,
plus its raya time and im take care of the Fair section,
u can see all the clothes like the soil kena digged.....shapeless....mountain-like....
foot keep cramp until now if im not moving my foot, its cant bend...
sucks till the end....
next time i will try to avoid working during raya time, or any peak season time,
and i will try to avoid working at Pacific again.

2PM leader Jae-bum leaving korea

You know? a man killed because he didn't know "Nobody" by Wondergirls. Im speechless.

okay, back to main topic.
Im sorry if im getting to emotional here.....
I seriously disappointed of netizens or antis....
this kind of thing also they can make a tsunami in 2PM leader Jae-bum's life...
not only gave a formal apology statement in the fans site,
now he is leaving Korea?!
What the hell is going on in this world.......
Even though JYP is saying he is not leaving the group, but those antis should just shut their mouth up,
asking him to commit suicide, this and that,
isn't that way too much?

For god sake, he was young that time, its was 3/ 4 yrs ago man,
when he first come to Korea for the 2PM group, sure he felt emotional,
who doesn't get emotional when they left they lovely home to another country?
Even me also will miss home when im here, in UPM, in K17, which is still in Malaysia, and just take 4 hours bus then can reach my hometown...
one of my fren who work in Singapore now also hate that country you know.....
and what the hell they go dig all the things up and say this and that...apa la korang ni...
The most hilarious thing is the netizens now baru dig all other evidence to support Jae-bum, all the word he left for his American fren about how he like Korea this and that (which is also long time ago).
I shall take the word from the Daily K Pop News, "Love for Korea revealed too late..."

Im not really a 2PM fans but their "Dirty eyed girl - Brown Eyed Girls' Abracadabra parody" in Wild Bunny is damn funny!
The making of this parody is lagi kelakar!
I not really know how this matter is happened in Korea, but its seems like very serious,
i think they really pressing Jae-bum on this matter.
As i know, Chris Brown was abusing Rihanna before right? and all the court stuff.
But, i do agree with a person's comment in youtube as he is a musician / artist,
even his private life is sucks, this is not concern to his singer career.
You can't deny that Chris Brown is unique in singing or dancing right? same goes to Jae-bum.
I am not saying that Jae-bum should be forgiven, isn't it is a waste that such a talented person leaving our music world bcoz of what he said 3/ 4 yrs ago?

草香.歌姬

有时真的很想看星星

有时很想回到过去，

回到我们的时代

草香，湿润的味道

好久没嗅到了

温暖，什么是温暖

麻木，

我该麻木了吗

也许我真的老了，

不想看 不想管 不想听 不想说

太爱他了

寂寞，太爱歌姬

无法想象生命中没了他

我们是白老鼠吗

那我是黑色的那只

呼唤雨水

呼唤风

轻声细语的

让我融化吧

Heart irritable

Im rushing my physio lab report which im doing the 1st to 3rd question plus putting the graph of the "Frog Heart" into words form.
8888ing graph keep copy as double set into the words, so i just let it be and let the combiner to settle herself.
I've done my best bout the result graph & im officially give up, pls dun blame me for that or else.
AND i want to done my clinical biochem lab report (26/8/09 - Practical 5).
I shouldn't take any drink contained caffein at all!!!

My heart is irritable.....
not the pathologic irritable heart, but the "itchy" of my heart.

Result from the caffein contained drink = fluctuating mood, impatient....and bla bla bla...

Now i only managed to finish my phyiso lab report as i was informed about the part i should do today and it should be pass up by this friday.
Man....im going back my hometown this friday la....
i still got my mountainlicious like girlfriends waiting for me behind my house yo know,
i haven't done my intro part of clinical biochem as it suppose to include the test principle of all the plasma TG, TC, HDL and LDL + their normal range.
bla bla bla.....
man, you see la....this is the typical result of "irritable heart" ------nagging like a grandma.....

Now im 8888ing sleepy and tired,
and i cant let my girlfriend wait anymore....how....tell me why.....

Quotes

Eventhough i already set my priority last sem,
but my mind still wandering around others......
Now, its time for me to decide.

"Don't let someone become a priority in your life,
when you are just an option in their life...
Relationships work best when they are balance."
This is what happened between me n siew. Balance.
Our care for each other are balanced.
Thats why we can further our relationships to a stage i never share with others.

"Never explain yourself to anyone.
Because the person who likes you doesn't need it,
and the person who dislikes you won't believe it."
I've been look through this situation,
as i know explaination is useless when the person is having preconception on you.
It doesn't matter what happen after that,
once anything just happened to be unfavorable for he/she, the situation turn back to its original state.
And the person who likes you from his/her bottom heart does not need any explaination at all.
It's true.

"We make them cry who care for us.
We cry for those who never care for us.
And we care for those who will never cry for us."
I think i had make my family esp my mum cried for me dozen times.....
and i did cry for those who never care for me,
i did care for those who will never cry for me.
It is silly.
So, i'm setting my priority now.
I'm trying to make them who care for me smile......

Danceformer virus a.k.a H11N5 mouse flu virus

Okay,
thanks to Dayana,
i exposed to something called "dance-former virus",
Its highly contagious,
You are a goner once u infected.

Clinical features?
Constant K-pop fever for months, unexpected robotic motion, insanity towards anything got d-a-n-c-e on their surface or inner part, Uspot hormone deficiency and pruritis butt.

Diagnostic method?
1. Farhana Marah method.
2. Butterscotch tape for d butt ( not anus dude!)

Treatment & prevention?
Sorry.....according to the Sin Chao newspaper, there are no prevention method currently due to the highly mutation turn over rate of danceformer virus aka H11N5 mouse flu virus.

Treatment:
One & only ---> 100x Uspot hormone injection intravenously.

Now, who can gimme d uspot hormone?

SHINee in my current life....

Seriously.
I can't stop loving them......
They r what i search online evryday now~
I love the Juliette remix dance break on 25 july!!!!
but why they put their head under SNSD girls!!!
ARGH!!! >O<
and the stupid MinHo looks like enjoying! grrrrr.........

"Replay Cover team" is not the real SHINee

Here, what i found in youtube.
"Replay Cover Team"
You won't believe this.......all of them are girl............
OMG>>> i was like jaw dropping.....can't pasang back already.....
I wish i can do like that, these girl are so young and dance so nice!

Utada's "this one" is spinning in my head,
go to karaoke with Dayana & her sister this afternoon,
We done a bit of "Love like oxygen" choreography by repeat the MV over and over again,
a lot of kids keep look into our room!
and one of the father also look inside as his son keep looking at us.............you know, the FATHER?!
What the hell lah.....we ain't do anything you know!
We just stand and move a bit only.....

Then, we straight go fetch Hkee and back K17 to practise,
"Replay" is almost done & "Love like oxygen" still need some practise,
i like the way we all dance, look nice!
BUT......i wish i could dance like Taemin!!!!!
Oh~ my taemin, HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY!!!
LOve Y0u so much!!!!!!