Corrupted ingredient

The whole culture is corrupted. I realized. After 3 years of staying here with my Biomedical science.
Is it my fault? It is my final year here, i can't stand the so-called relax yet stressful lifestyle here.
Maybe it is due to my supervisor, my project title or it is just me.

She graduated this year i guess.
I always admire her passion for her dance and her group. I can see she devoted her whole heart on it.
and she tells this to her juniors.
"invest everything you have. embrace the fact that it’s your last year. welcome the pain of saying “bye” because dc is worth your tears & heartaches. ..oh and don’t forget to spoil the newbies"

Bam. I am not a good investor, i am a coward and i am a cruel bitch.
However now i want to take in everything as i did before when i was a newbie cause it's my last time for doing so.

I've been stepping on the same place for 3 years. I am not improving myself, i knew it.
Where is my future? Where am i in the next 5 years?
Deep down inside, i am truly afraid. I am terrify of stepping out. Same as what i am 3 years ago.

I have been wasting 3 years for nothing.
I have nothing to be proud of. Academic? PLEASE....not the top and not the lousiest.
and the "hard-to-teach" skills? I am a coward, i am, from what i did in my finishing school.
Kind of disappointed of myself.

Need some self-searching. Need some break though.
Need the determination i had during my STPM exam.
Need to be freed from this corrupted ingredient of mine.