Malaysia's thought bout *beep*

Yeap. I fall sick again.
Flu. AGAIN.
I hate this part, nah, not going to sing like pussycat dolls. Sore throat. Can't be a karaoke star in my room now.

Read a book called "Symposium on human sexuality", published in 1980, and YES. Made in Malaysia.
Do you believe it? they done all these research before 1980!
Truly S.H.O.C.K.  =.=||
Thanks to this "book", i know lots of stuff. Explain a lot of sexual myths. However, the homosexual part is not well studied. Maybe its Malaysia after all.
All the research are done by Malaysian, i can see some professors' name and some universities' name.

Another book is something bout the spinal injury and sexuality, which written in Mandarin.
And yes.
Before this book, im sincerely, truly, honestly believe that people who suffer spinal injury & complete / incomplete paralyzed are incapable of having sexual intercourse, or rather i should say they reach the "Nirvana" stage. No desire, no, nothing.
Obviously i was wrong. Totally wrong. From the beginning till the end =.=||

My lesson of the day : Human is a miracle.


P.S why the librarian give me this kind of face? i'm not doing any crime okay?! Duh...

Dosai, dhosai, tosai, thosai, dvashi?

Yeap. Had my oily dosai at the mamak restaurant near IMR.
It is really big till i can last for 7 hours, not too sour but delicious! I still prefer it to be not so oily though....

And, i've been trying to resume my k-pop dance life back.
Slack off for 6 months *DENG* and lost my chance to join Dayana's SHINee dance crew and they WON!!!
THEY ARE GOING TO KOREA!!! ARGH!! THEY ARE GOING TO ATTEND MUSIC BANK! ARGH!
moreover, the Koh wen qiang is having his industrial training in KOREA!! KOREA! YOU KNOW?!
I am damn envious.......................................................................=((((((((((((((((((((((((

Well, resume my dance life is because i'm fxxking bored with my current life.
Well, its not a life at all. It a piggy life.
Eat, sleep, online, read novel, browse here browse there, jalan-jalan, watch anime.
And Yes, you are right. I'm doing all these during my "work time" and after my "work time".
So, can you understand my frust now?

Luckily, today is my dance day.
Tomorrow is my reunion with my lovely Huiying sister =) along with Kangning, hehehe....
Anticipating..... =D

言。情。

看着最新的死神 Bleach 第271集，到最后无法忍耐到下个礼拜才出的下一集
几乎是立即，马上，去下载它的漫画，一直看到最新一章。
一个字。情。

Ulquiorra 所说的“心”，Ichigo 对Orihime 的“保护”
到 Tosen 对心爱的人的“正义”， 还有那只熊队长对 Tosen 的“谅解”----都是情
感触太多，发现死神已经要 show down了，有点感慨
因为私低下，我是希望Ulquiorra 与Orihime之间有个真正的结局，没法子了，只好看看FanFiction来解瘾。

有时发现自己对感情上还是个小孩子，
希望我喜欢的人不讨厌我，希望能在有限的朋友圈里找到几个能交心的人
也许我太幼稚了，也许我奢求太多，也许他并不是我以为的那么不讨厌我，
或许我真的是涉世不深，看得不多，
或许我还是学不乖，性子太冲动，太自以为是，
或许，是时候该转身退后
或许。。。一切都是我的错。

第二轮就failed了

今天 Super 问我们这几天的收获，第一轮我险胜，第二轮就刷下来了。。。。唉。。。

虽然我很懒，不读书，不上进，不喜欢用脑，可是我的头脑还是年轻的okay?
可是太久没有用了，还是有点老化。
昨天没有带纸笔的情况下，死命记下三个 research proposal的所有内容，呼。。。
发现我的 “死命记就记得到” 还是没退步，哈！

Super 问起来，我才发现我真的很懒
所有的 extraction process 到底要 extract 的是什么我都不知道，
我只知道要验跟测量PAH (Polycyclic Aromatic Hydrocarbon)而已，
每个步骤的目的和 end product 是什么也不知道，
我才想到：“哎呀！她 expect 我们很像上次那个“李冷汗”酱 expect 我们酱什么都要知道啊啊啊啊！！”
我还以为我还保有上次的那种态度，原来我是太懒，连我学的都懒掉了。。。

明天她就要我们交上个星期的报告了，我之前还跟我隔壁讲说，我这个人很懒啦，她最好给我个 time limit 然后我才会“发奋图强”去做功课～
结果，她今天就叫我们明天交，我实在是没话讲了。。。自己拿石头砸自己的脚。。。

不过说真的，在这个部门学的都不是我其他同学所学的 routine work，我学到的是怎样去做一个研究，知道的都是比较广的范围。
比起其他同学，或许我没有 hands on 去 run test or analysis， 可是我看到的，他们教我的，我都了。

今天 Super 谈起她第一次来 IMR 做工看到的 quote.

"There are, in effect, two things, to know and to believe one knows; 

to know is science;

to believe one knows is ignorance."

- Hippocrates

坦白说，我也看到这篇匾额在 EHRC　那里，当时的确有打了一棒，也许我太懒了，忽略了身为研究人员的认知，真的很希望这次的实习能让我“焕然一新”，呵呵。。。

Blue Saturday

Its Saturday, i am freaking tired even i slept for over 12 hours.
Gosh, i hate this kind of life, nothing to learn, nothing to do and nothing to anticipate for......

Realize that i wouldn't see my senior buddy, Tiffany around so frequent anymore as they are graduating soon.
Somehow i feel paiseh to her cause i am not a good junior for her.....not filial to her....
For all these years i don't think we are really that close, i also don't know why. But luckily, this semester we are getting closer (i think?).

I've been wasting all my time on stupid stuff i guess, I'm not study hard enough, I'm not playing hard enough too.
Kind of regret and feeling blue out of nothing.....

Download so many anime and read so many novel in 5 days.
Everyday I'm sitting in the office doing nothing, luckily i have my laptop with me, at least i can read some novel, listen to music~
BUT I STILL WANT TO LEARN SOMETHING!!!!
CAN YOU FEEL MY AGONY?!?!?!!!


Well, it is a blue Saturday.

IMR: Thoughts bout UKM & UPM Biomedics

IMR = Institute of Medical Research.

Well, it is a historical place coz it born 1900. Believe it? its 100+ years old!

I've been allocate to EHRC (Environmental Health Research Centre).

Seriously, i hope i can do some "routine work" which is dealing with all the biological sample, this and that.

But, for this time. Nope. I will do more coursework like prepare research proposal, find journal and observe other researchers' project.

Met a UKM Biomedics. Honestly, i think their course and subjects are way better than us apart of some subjects are using BM.

Their courses are more pack, more intensive and MORE PUSHING.

I mean, its not like UPM is not pushing at us, it is just not enough.

See, each semester they got 7 subjects (we maximum got 6?) , lab work are real lab work (not like us, 2pm to 5pm, 4pm we already run off....), more field trip, more exposure.

Biostat, our killer. They took it for 2 semester - Biostat & Biostat Advance. They have done questionnaire, collect data then analyse them.

Us? no assignment. No proper lab tutoring.

We have no more Teras subject starting our final year, but they still have teras subject every semester.

The one i really envious of is one course ( i forgot the name) includes 2 module : Toxicology & Histopatholoy.

For the Toxico, they have it for 6 weeks. every day they got lab, every day they got new assignment. From handling animals, restrain, force feeding, injection, take blood sample to sacrifice the animals and take samples.

They learn all bout the equipments in lab, every component within them during their 1st sem.

Seriously, i have nothing to say bout us. I have nothing to tell.

For their kolej activities. Trust me, for the sake of merit, we will join everything, this is what i thought. However, after i heard what she said. i knew their activities are WAY MORE MEANINGFUL than us.

Compared to me, i am damn carefree.

The reasons i can think about our UPM situation are:

1. We have our 1st test, 2nd test and final exam.

Basically, we are having exam every weeks if the exam schedule is "unlucky" for us.

When you are having examsssss like that, how you can join activities either academic purpose or kolej activities with a peace of mind?

2. We are just too exam-orientated.

Everything we study, we think bout our exams, not bout gaining new knowledge.

With this kind of mind set, we can't go far.

Peer pressure bout marks, all bout marks, what bout the knowledge? I don't think people will give a shit bout it when everyone around you talk about marks marks and MARKS.

3. Marking system.

Why we so easy to get an A for a subject? I think all my coursemate are having pretty good GPA/ CGPA, but is that our real marks?

I am so hoping that our marking system will be very strict right from the start. Then we will know our real level, our real marks.

When things are going easy for me, i will take advantage of it.

and I don't want to pour all my blood and sweat out for an A that anyone can get it with just a little more effort.

and shit.

i knew i've been hibernating for too long. I taste the fruit. and it is no U-turn or Rewind.

damn it.

K, enough for the lament.

EHRC. Yeap. This week maybe is a really EMPTY week.

But, i am looking forward for the next week: Project bout seafood contamination.

No hands-on but really hoping that i will learn something that i won't be able to learn at other place.

Wish me luck!